Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Men Without Hats

Here's a great item from our partner in the Fat Gay Nazi Condo-Promotion Literary Cabal (I'm the fat one), Richard at the MexFiles. Mexico's Army has no real external enemies to fight (seriously, amigos, if we were going to invade [again], we'd have done it by now) and apparently nothing resembling the US's Posse Comitatus Act, so the Mexican government has to find a lot of make-work projects for them here at home - which is how the Army came to stage a spectacular raid on a drug cartel stronghold in Apatzingán, Michoacán, the other day, resulting in the capture and (we shit you not) parading before the press of 120 plastic medieval helmets. And with that, the Drug War officially ended. A treaty of surrender will be signed on the deck of the battleship Frida Khalo on Good Friday.

Now that the war is over, we can look back and reflect on some of our botched coverage. The most obvious bad call we made was in declaring "The Hand With Eyes" the most awesome criminal gang on the playing field. Clearly that honor should go to the brave men and women - 120 of whom are currently hatless - of the Knights Templar. The Knights are an offshoot of La Familia, by far the craziest of the major league cartels, and they've upped the crazy level to "Qaddafi," especially as regards wardrobe. As you can see in the news report below, the helmets were only the tip of the sartorial iceberg, as it were.

Basically, we're talking about Dungeons & Dragons, but with real beheadings. We also have to confess a bit of professional admiration, having once staged a miniature Knights Templar costume epic (or whatever the opposite of epic is) for an educational video produced by our Audio/Visual Division. Sadly, no one was actually beheaded on set. Stupid unions...

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