Sunday, February 19, 2012

Nuestro Señor de las Fireworks

And He found in the temple those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. And He made a scourge of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables; 16 and to those who were selling the doves He said, “Take these things away; stop making My Father’s house a place of business!” [John 2:14-16]

Templo de la Cruz is in full commerce mode today: tortas, trinkets, bingo, enormous-assed matrons is unfortunate blue plaid capris - all in honor of Saint something-or-other. It's also Armed Forces Day in Mexico. We briefly imagined the military parade diverting from its course to slaughter the faithful, but we're apparently like 80 years too late for that sort of thing. These two institutions have been in bed longer than Paul Babeu and a truck full of detained lettuce pickers.

Anyway, this all has to do with someone called Nuestro Señor de Esquipulas - exactly what it has to do with him, we're not sure, because we're pretty certain he doesn't live here, but whatever.  According to the legend, Nuestro Señor isn't a Señor at all, but just a idol of some sort [see also: First Commandment, The], that was found in a hole somewhere, taken home by some greedy villager, and then magically returned itself to its hole in the ground.  This happened three times, at which point most normal people would have noticed that Nuestro Señor prefers to be left alone in peace and quiet.  Queretanos, however, insist on ramming church bells, fireworks, brass bands and Indian drums down his (and, by virtue of geography, our) throat.  Below is a schedule of today's events, which we've amended to correct some unfortunate omissions.  Hopefully, Nuestro Señor will be fleeing back to his hole as quickly as possible.


La Socia de la Cocinera de la Amiga del Lorax said...

My pug does not like fireworks. Especially serious-ass fireworks. Just thought your entire readership should know that.

Hugo said...

In Honduras they have a nice twist to this Saints day:

Perhaps something for Burro Hall to introduce to the Queretaran festival?