Sunday, February 26, 2012

Sábado Gigante

* Back when we were young and struggling (as opposed to old and struggling), we worked as a fact-checker on a couple of articles by Joe Queenan. (How old are we, you ask? One of them was about the unbelievable idea that Bob Dylan is turning 50!) He was something of an ass then, but we liked him, though the bloom went off the rose many years later, when he called a friend's book "deeply silly" in the New York Times Book Review (it was a fucking vampire novel, for fuck's sake). So we're saddened, but not surprised, to see him pen one of the most ignorant essays about Mexico we've ever seen, in the pages of the once-great Wall Street Journal this week.

* Anatomy of a bad joke:  We're not sure it's ever funny to joke about 49 children being incinerated in a daycare center, but two years is definitely too soon, as a clown (literally, a clown) named Platanito discovered here a few months ago. (Punchline: "Kentucky Fried Children." [rimshot]) The ensuing uproar culminated with this North Korea-style apology video, in which Platanito addresses the Mexican people "not as a clown, but as a man," or, more accurately, as a wigless man in clown makeup:

The people of Sinaloa were not appeased, however, and so during last weeks Carnival, burned Platanito in effigy in order to demonstrate that joking about people being burned is not funny.  Upon which, the Goddess of Irony threw herself into the Sea of Cortez.

* We think war metaphors should be use sparingly here, but this piece on the "bottled-water wars" is pretty good.

* Stratfor's questionable "intelligence."

* Paul Theroux on Mexico.

* We were disappoint to see Querétaro fail to make the "Mexico For Wimps" travel guide.  Nice to see them give San Pancho a shout-out.  We got a near-fatal case of typhoid there a few years back. 

* With the Failed State of Arizona's second-craziest sheriff suddenly turning radioactive, Rick "santorum" Santorum is planting a big, wet smooch on the flabby buttocks of the big dawg himself.

* Speaking of the FSoAZ, how may people does a cop have to shoot there before he gets a reprimand?

* Given the choice, would you rather be in a coma in Mexico, or in the Failed State of Arizona?

* With just a month to go before his Popeliness arrives in Mexico, the papal goldbricking has begun.

* Mexican government finally finds a good use for all the American-bought weapons it confiscates. They've even started retuning some of the smuggled ammo back to its home country.  

* On that latter story, the chuckling chalupas at Fox News Latino note the irony of an El Paso woman getting hit by a stray bullet while Mexico "promotes tourism," though it seems to us the lesson from this incident is that El Paso is more dangerous that we've suspected. 

* Seriously, how fucking stupid is Fox News? This juicy politics/extortion/strippers story begins, "A married mayoral candidate in Mexico says a leaked video showing him and a topless dancer was entirely setup by his political rivals." We know "New" is tiny word, amigos, but it makes a big difference.

* Mexicans wishing to escape the violence of their home country might want to consider vacationing at Wetback Tank Reservoir in New Mexico.  It's nicer than Beaner Lake, WA.

* The Texas Department of Agriculture gets in on the "spillover" meme.

* Twenty-two cruise ship passengers, nationality unknown but presumably gringo, were robbed at gunpoint near Puerto Vallarta - a devastating blow to the Mexican tourism industry, since no tourists have ever before been robbed anywhere in the world.  

* Huichol indians protest mining operation on sacred ground, look fucking fabulous doing it. 

* A Mississippi legislator mocks his nativist brethren by introducing a bill to rename the Gulf of Mexico the "Gulf of America," but, because Mississippi is batshit fucking insane, everyone takes him seriously.

* More reasons to finish the danged fence:  child molesters from Florida, child molesters from California,

* "Illegals" aren't just a north-of-the-border phenomenon.

* "Let there be light."  And so it was good. 

* Hector Tobar's The Barbarian Nurseries looks pretty good.  

* "Ugly Betty" as Dolores Huerta.

* What do Mexicans think of Ron Paul?

* Mmmmm... tits and shellfish!

* Mexico viejo.

* This dude gives former CBS producers living in Mexico a bad name.

* The cemetery in Culicán, which we've written about previously, is the subject of a documentary called El Velador, which will apparently be airing on PBS's POV series later this year. Check it out.

* Querétaro's Day of the Ox Stew went off again this year without an unfortunate stampede. 

* We can't tell which Missouri high school sports headline we like best: "Pirates Sent Home by Mexico," or  "Mexico Denies Hannibal Boys." Bonus points awarded for both being about the same game.

* Grand Theft Tuba.

* Dept. of Unlikely Saviors: Back before the country was cool, Mexico effectively banned rock concerts for like 20 years, until Rod Stewart (seriously, the "Hot Legs" guy!) rocked Querétaro in 1989.  (Also, parts two and three.)


JustaCanuck said...

Regarding the Joe Queenan piece, don't you think that maybe he was being satirical? I think that the questions he and his wife supposedly ask themselves before going somewhere, sort of give that impression because they're a bit over the top. I thought the satire was weak, not very witty, too much in your face, but it did feel like satire.

Burro Hall said...

I'll concede that it's not impossible, but it read like a bunch of lame jokes in service of a serious thesis: that you'd have to be insane to go to Mexico. Satire would be making fun of people who say don't go to Mexico. This wasn't that.

Crazy Rita said...

I was illegal for more than 2 years while teaching at a private school in Mexico. But since I wasn't counted in the census while living there in 2010, I don't think it counts.