Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Xoloitzcuintlis Keep It Real

Another year, another Westminster Dog Show, which the perro refuses to watch because, like Academy award winner/decliner George C. Scott, he doesn't believe canines should be pitted against each other.  "Only difference between this shit and Michael Vick is that you can crap wherever you want at Vick's," he sneered when I suggested we watch it.  Fine, whatever.

This year's show has gotten more ink than usual here because it's the first year that the xoloitzcuintli - the "Mexican hairless dog" - is invited to participate.  (Write your own joke about the Mexican dog being in the "non-sporting" category.) There are quite a few xolos in our neighborhood and, while we think they look super-cool, touching them kinda creeps us out - they're all tight and leathery and sticky, sort of like the "Jersey Shore" guys.  But still, it's an important day for Mexico, a great national honor, and of course our canine ambassadors didn't disappoint: of the eleven who were scheduled to compete, four  - that's more than 33% - either showed up too late, or not at all ¡Qué Viva México! That's just how xolos roll.




Even the perro thought that was pretty delightful.  "There's no 'I' in 'xoloitzcuintli'!" he laughed.  "Skinny, hairless fucks."

The first ever Xoloitzcuintli Best of Breed is a two-year-old named Bayshore Georgio Armani, owned by J Frank Bayliss, Lynda Hylton and Traci Johnson.  The judge's name was Richard Beauchamp.  The whole thing is really about as Mexican as Charlton Heston in Touch of Evil.

Anyway, here's some video of the pug competition.  Don't tell the perro.

7 comments:

Fnarf said...

I love these dogs. There's a bunch of them on the grounds of the Dolores Olmeda museum in el DF, as well as some extremely lifelike statues of them, and you can stand there and watch them for fifteen minutes and not be able to tell which is which.

Don Alberto Doyle said...

Hey, Back Off, Gabacho! Touch of Evil is the greatest B-movie of all time. Now you want a bad impersonation of a Mexican, try Anthony Quinn in Guadalcanal Diary!

Burro Hall said...

An impersonation made even worse by the fact that he's actually Mexican.

Don Alberto Doyle said...

That was kinda my point, but I suppose you need to educate the gringos. Say, that Ted Williams was a helluva hitter.....

Anonymous said...

Anthony Quinn fans unidos!

Amiga del Lorax said...

¡¡¡VIVA LOS PUG VIDEOS!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't make fun of Xolos... pugs don't taste nearly as good, and their harder to clean.