Thursday, March 01, 2012

The Wedding of the Century

The Failed State of Arizona's Craziest Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, has called a big press conference for 2pm today, where he plans to release some "shocking" news. We're almost certain this means he's planning to marry his illegal immigrant boyfriend, since the non-shocking thing would be for him to have him deported. The interns are already falling over themselves trying to figure out how to score invites, and we have to admit that even we get a little lump in our throats thinking about the briedsmaids:

We've had our differences with Sheriff Joe in the past, but it takes a lot of courage to stand up for marriage equality the way he is - particularly in a place as backward as the FSoAZ. Congratulations, you crazy lovebirds! And when it comes to planning your honeymoon, remember: Mexico has never been more affordable!

Update: Okay, so apparently our initial report might not be completely accurate.  Though we should note his office has not denied that he's planning to gay-marry an illegal immigrant,  the stated reason for the press conference is to release his long-awaited-by-no-one report on Barack Obama's birth certificate, with the "shocking" part apparently being the fact that someone is still talking about Barack Obama's birth certificate.  Burro Hall regrets (deeply) the error.

(Interestingly, Sheriff Joe's investigation was prompted by Jerome "Swift Boat" Corsi, who also served as its star witness and, now, chief media promoter.  In case the Sheriff is unaware, Mr. Corsi is an enormous fan of our A/V Division's work.  We'd be happy to be his plus-one at the wedding...)

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