Monday, May 28, 2012

In QRO They Love the Guv'ner, Boo! Boo! Boo!

We give Querétaro governor José "Pepe" Calzada a lot of shit.  We make fun of his government.  We accuse his wife - who's probably a really nice lady in person - of being an ineffective dilettante.  We harangue his pet newspaper for becoming an exemplar of journalistic hackery and malpractice so perfect, we're starting to believe they're putting us on.  Mostly, we've never forgiven him for campaigning for office in a fly red long-sleeve guayabera, only to trade it in for a sober dark suit as soon as the results are in. Anyway, we're just a silly gringo blog full of dirty jokes and puppy pictures - who cares what we say?

Querétaro governor José "Pepe" Calzada, apparently.

Exhibit the First:  Meson Santa Rosa, home to the outdoor cafe where the editorial board and the perro retire for our regular evening editorial meeting.  With business dispatched and the money counted as quickly as possible, the editorial meetings segue seamlessly into an evening of beer-drinking and people watching.  It's one of the very few non-Schadenfreude pleasures we have in life.  And at some point while we were out of town, Meson Santa Rosa - alone among the seven cafes and restaurants that ring the main plaza - has been prohibited from serving alcohol at its outdoor tables, due to an "irregularity" in its license (that irregularity no doubt being the meson's failure to deliver the proper-sized satchel of US dollars to the proper midlevel bureaucrat).  Smoking is also prohibited, despite being permissible everywhere else, including churches and gas stations.  Alcohol can be served indoors, however, which is apparently the guv's way of fucking with us.

Exhibit the Second: Four doors down from Burro Hall Headquarters, which is located in a residential neighborhood where the noisiest and most obnoxious neighbor is the Catholic Church, there is now a gay bar with a creepy leather-daddy theme.  Being the town's token New Yorkers, we're of course totally cool with that.  It's just that they've added a motorcycle fetish into the mix.  And live music, because nothing says "rebel" more than a Corona-fueled cover of "Smoke on the Water."  So what started out as a quiet, perfectly respectable, anonymous gay pickup joint routinely has 10-15 mufflerless choppers roaring up and down the street (setting off all the hair-trigger car alarms) in the wee hours of the morning as the last drunken singalong of "Sweet Home Alabama" fades out. Police and other inspectors are nowhere to be found.

By way of contrast, we have a friend who has a business a block away - a lovely restaurant selling terrific food, employing several local taxpayer/voters, no live music, closes every night at 10 - who has for two years been unable to get a license to sell beer.  Presumably, the governor spied the owner drinking with us at Meson Santa Rosa one night.

Exhibit the Third: Though digging a hole and filling it back in has long been a cornerstone of Calzada's public works projects, we can think of no legitimate reason why a crew was dispatched to dig up a single cobblestone outside our offices, with a hammer and chisel, at 3:15AM last week.

We're retreating north of the border for a little bit, but want to leave the guv'ner with a thought:  this isn't over, amigo.  Remember what happened the last time a guy named Francis hid out in the US, raising money and nursing a grudge.  Viva!


Mexfiles said...

Whatever happened to your bullfighting Governor?

Burro Hall said...

We've all been wondering that...

Ferdinand Examplar said...

Oh, Pancho! Oh, Cisco!!! These mah boys don't tweet around, Guv'ner.

WTF, you can't upload photos in comments?