Monday, May 21, 2012

We Are The Goon Squad And We're Coming To Town

BIG news in our ongoing coverage of the ongoing coverage of non-Jesus-approved sexytime happenings in Corrgidora: Shortly after midnight on Saturday, while los swingers were gathered in their secret swinger hideaway have sexy-sexytime, a squad of armed Municipal Police stormed the premises in search of, as the newspaper rather candidly put it, "anything that could result in some sort of criminal charge," - including, but not limited to, underage drinking, drug use, and prostitution.


"Investigators found nothing."

This of course did not stop Plaza de Armas from splashing the raid all the way across page one (the daytime photo indicating that the search must have lasted many, many hours), plus a half-page story in the police section, and of course a little box on the front page, reprinting its first front-page story, with the heading "The Report that Unraveled Everything" - as if causing an utterly pointless and wasteful raid on law-abiding people enjoying themselves in the privacy of someone's home is an occasion for self-congratulation, rather than for being shunned by polite society.

Our favorite quote:

Neighbors on this street, who said they were surprised by the sudden police mobilization, said they'd never seen anything unusual there.

Imagine.

3 comments:

Cheryl Arredondo said...

So when you say "non-Jesus approved", I'm assuming it's guy Jesus and not dog Jesus. Cuz dog Jesus seems like he's cool with people enjoying themselves.

Burro Hall said...

As long as there's snacks in it for him, he doesn't care if people live or die.

Yupalupa de Yautepec said...

Maybe someone didn't pick up after their dog?