Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A Short, Simple Event

We want to like Señorita Oooh, Güeys!, our new Miss Querétaro, but her packagers and handlers are making it really hard. The local press finally got around to covering her coronation a few days late (what passes for breaking news here), but filled in enough details to make us understand the lack of urgency.  All seven candidates spent thw two months leading up to the pageant "attending a preparatory course in oratory, verbal expression [which we're pretty sure is what "oratory" means], runway-walking, hair, makeup and physical fitness."   Two month!  It sounds like beauty queen boot camp.  That pageant must have been one spectacular cavalcade of well-spoken runway-walking hotties.

Friday night was a short, simple event, without the  glamor and glitter that characterized the event in previous years... For the first time, there was no bathing suit contest, questions and answers, or elaborate production numbers.

Seriously?  The sixth-runner-up spent two months toning her thighs and honing her rhetoric, for a "short, simple event" that involved neither?  This takes the Mexican penchant for make-work projects to a whole other level, though it helps explain how we wound up with a Miss Querétaro we're incapable of spotting in a photograph.  When not making official appearances, Queen Oooh, Güeys! will be put to a medically-induced coma and stored in a bio-pod at the Jefferson Institute.

The shadowy robots running the Nuestra Belleza Mexico empire have gone in and scrubbed Her Majesty's Facebook page of any hint of personality, humor, or photographic evidence of bad posture.  We rescued this one photo, below, plus another of her and her friends dressed as Pac-Man... though we're saving that one in case she wins Miss Mexico on Sept 8.

It's crazy, right? A mustache made from a straw? Now we've seen everything!

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