Tuesday, October 09, 2012

The Totally Awesome Death of El Lazca

A sad day here at Burro Hall World HQ. Heriberto 'El Lazca' Lazcano Lazcano, the exquisitely-named leader of the Totally Awesome Zetas!!, the sociopathic drug cartel we've been conspicuously sucking-up to for a couple of years now, apparently died as he lived this weekend: in a hail of bullets, somewhere outside a baseball game in the town of Progreso, Coahuila. Of course, this isn't the first time he's been reported dead and so, given what an enormously high-profile target he is, the government will probably want to be extra careful to make sure they get it right and have all the proof they need and to ensure that nothing -- sorry, wait... this just in:

Prosecutor: Gunmen stole Zetas cartel founder Lazcano’s body from funeral home

MEXICO CITY — Mexican marines gunned down one of Mexico’s most feared drug lords outside a baseball game near the Texas border, then handed over the body to local authorities in a town where it was snatched by armed men in a pre-dawn raid on a funeral home, officials said Tuesday.

The theft of the body believed to belong to Zetas founding member Heriberto Lazcano adds a bizarre and embarrassing twist to one of the most significant victories in Mexico’s militarized battle with organized crime, two months before the man who sharply expanded it, President Felipe Calderon, leaves office.

Officials said that, with the body missing, the remaining evidence of Lazcano’s fall consists of three fingerprints and a few photos of the army special forces deserter whose brutal paramilitary tactics helped define the devastating six-year war among Mexico’s drug gangs and authorities.

The Associated Press quotes George Grayson, an expert on the Zetas and co-author of The Executioner’s Men: Los Zetas, Rogue Soldiers, Criminal Entrepreneurs and the Shadow State They Created, saying, “The Zetas take care of their dead. El Lazca was special forces. There is an esprit de corps, like the Marines. They never leave a comrade behind.”

But so obviously there was no way the Marines or the government could have known this, and put an extra couple of night watchmen outside the morgue.  Ni modo.  Ni Modo...


Anonymous said...

extra couple of night watchmen outside the morgue.

… or like stuffed a GPS up between his kidneys or something.

Mexfiles -- no expert on gangsters either said...

Um, the problem was that Lazcano... if it was Lazcano... wasn't in the morgue, but was transferred to a funeral parlor without the autopsy required when homicide is a suspected cause of death (or, for that matter, any gunshot related death).

Since when is George Greyson an expert on the Zetas. He's the favorite "go-to guy" for U.S. media (especially A.P.), but his field is Mexican politics (he wrote a famous hit piece on Lopez Obrador a couple of years back, claiming AMLO has a Jesus complex).

Margaret S. said...

What’s more, this is how the story first played in the media:
El Lazco killed > identified as such > body stolen.

But a day later, it was revealed that the timeline was actually:
El Lazco killed > body stolen > identified (due to theft of body)