Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Icicle Barbie

In other second-tier beauty queen news, Querétaro's newest Christmas Queen, HRH Angelina I, was crowned last week, in a magnificent public ceremony that included a tacky papier-mâché set, dwarves, and two middle aged balding PAN bureaucrats who, after deflowering the Christmas Queen-elect in a private ritual earlier in the day, placed the historic Christmas crown upon her royal brow.


And with that, we're pretty sure she has literally nothing left to do until the ceremony in Nov. 2013 where she passes the royal sash to her successor. Assuming, of course, that she's not shot down after an hours-long running gun battle with soldiers.

At the end of the coronation, she was returned to the Christmas Queen's official Ice Palace, where she is watched over by armed guards and holiday elves 24 hours a day, with nothing to do but weep for her lost childhood.  Heavy lies the crown of the Christmas sovereign.

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