Saturday, December 08, 2012

Sábado Gigante

* So about a week and a half ago, our hometown paper wrote an article - buried on page 6 - about the new and improved Mexico the new presidente hopes to project to the world, using Queréraro as Exhibit A.  Querétaro responded in the cool, detached way that Mexicans usually regard approbation from abroad.  Under the 128-point headline: "QUERÉTARO IS A MODEL CITY: THE NEW YORK TIMES," the local press waxed rhapsodic.  The governor gushed about receiving kind words from "such a prestigious paper," while the mayor hoped that we, as a city, will be able to live up to the responsibility bestowed upon us by this article.  At the risk of sounding petulant - and never mind the gross insult of reporters from the Gray Lady coming to QRO without paying their respects - this blog has published more than 3,000 articles, in English, from a New Yorker's perspective, and probably a third of them have hinted at vaguely positive things about this town.  Where's our ticket tape parade, amigos?

* Speaking of respecting the burro - in Otumba, Edomex, where they take their burros very seriously, an angry mob tried unsuccessfully to lynch four guys accused of stealing a couple donkeys.  (Lynching the accused is not uncommon in Otumba, for some reason.)

* Republican Lyle Larson, apparently the smartest person the people of San Antonio could find to represent them in the state house, has notified the media that he plans to send Presidente Peña Nieto (who has been on the job for 8 days), an voice for the billions Texas spends on illegal immigrants.  We can't wait to see the invoice Peña Nieto sends Larson for the cost of fighting the drug cartels armed and funded by the people of Texas.

* Also, some of those "illegal Mexicans" may actually be Romanian gypsies on their way to Canada.

* Our Commenter of the Week is imported from another site (one of our partners in the Fat Gay Nazi Condo Promotion Cabal), where the very, very serious person Antonio Perales Hierro declared:

Speaking of parasites, too bad there’s nothing similar to ward off Burro Hall–I checked him out–he’s pretty disgusting, alright. He can be put in his place, or offered an excellent argument if one cares to wade through his garbage/cynical mind-set. I’ll bet he’s an unrelenting weasel to debate.

If we had a peso for every time we'd heard that, this blog would finally be profitable. Amusingly Perales claims to be the great-nephew of Luz Corral Fierro, otherwise known as Mrs. Pancho Villa. (Good judgement apparently runs in the family.) Getting flamed by Pancho Villa's wife's sibling's grandkid actually entitles you to minor bragging rights around here. (Querétaro was Villa country.) If any descendants of the Zapatas are regular readers, we invite you to join in the discussion.

* Speaking of Mexican icons with a taste for flamboyant headwear, Moctezuma II's feathered headdress (which probably never belonged to Moctezuma II and is, for some odd reason, housed in Austria) may be coming to Mexico someday.  We say someday because negotiations have dragged on for six years.  Just crate the thing up and put it on a boat, dammit!  That's what we did with Maximiliano, and he got there just fine.

* Hey!  The US Supreme Court is going to take up the issue of gay marriage!  Mexico settled that one a couple of days ago, but it's cute the way El Norte tries to keep up.

* How can it be so hard for the University of New Mexico to find Latino students that they're now recruiting in old Mexico to "increase diversity"?

* On the list of Jobs That Can't Possibly Pay Enough to Justify the Risk, "Zeta accountant" has got to be near the top.  Excellent fodder for screwball comedy, of course.

* In other screwball-comedy news, while it's always funny to see a cop nearly paralyzed from the neck down, this video is a great reminder what an absolute goddamn menace Mexican speed bumps are:

* This color-coded map of countries' emotionality show us what we've always assumed - Mexicans are way less emotional that those passionate, hotheaded canucks.

* Example of Mexican level-headedness #1: A group of Mexican-Americans in a restaurant get into a heated discussion over which state is más de la puta madre, Sinaloa or Michoacán.  So obviously the Sinaloa guy has to shoot the Michoacán guy to death.

* Example of Mexican level-headedness #2:  The Sinaloan beauty queen killed in a "three-hour running gun battle with soldiers" died with gunpowder on her hands.  We think we're in love.

* Also, it's a cooler way to die than having a ceiling beam crush you to death at a "five-star" (now more likely two-star) resort.

* Other than that, Mexico is perfectly safe now - and it's never been more affordable!

* Our old friends at Yahoo! seem to owe one of their former Mexican partners mucho dinero.  $2.7 billion, to be precise.

* Amiga del blog's Mary Cuddehe's story "Agent Zapata" can be yours for like two lousy bucks.

* This seems like an eminently worthy project from the Knight Center for Journalism

* In comments on an earlier post, there was lively debate over which was worse, living in a Mexican jail or dying in a Texan one.   Let's continue this.  Round 2:  Gringo in Mexico v Wetback in Alabama.

* Still, it'll be hard to beat the two indigenous Nahuas who spent 3 years in jail in Puebla on a bullshit charge they couldn't defend themselves against because they don't speak Spanish.

* Eros Hoagland's photos from the US-Mexico border.  Plus, photos from the inauguration protests.  An aerial photo of Mexico City from 1932. And our favorite photo from the Calderón years.

* The great Falco Jimenez on NPR's Tiny Desk Concerts series.

* Look, everyone - Ann Coulter's being stupid for money!  Anyway, don't bother reading that.  Instead, read this classic "Ten Modest Proposals to Help Ann Coulter Get a Date." ("1: Quit injecting yourself with your own urine...")

* Yet, amazingly, Ann can't win Stupidest Question of the Week.  That goes to Fox New's botched facelift victim Greta Van Susteren, for "Could Mexico be the next Benghazi?"

* According to an amiga old enough to know this stuff, this, from 1990, was Mexico's first homegrown rap hit:

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