* We don't usually wade in to local politics that aren't local to us, but in the race for District 8 City Councilman in St. Petersburg, FL, Burro Hall endorses Alex Duensing.
In December, he wore a tunic and spent an evening perched on his roof spinning two poles to ward off the Mayan apocalypse. He told two television anchors that he was using "powers moving through him" to save the world. Spinning the two poles blocked clouds from hovering over the city, Duensing said.
* Everyone in Mexico is all gushy that ex-pope is going to be shuffling around the Vatican attic in a pair of Mexican made shoes. Not so much gushing about the way he suffered a possibly-papacy-ending head injury on his visit here. (So much for in-fall-ibility! Thank you, thank you very much.)
* And yes, we questioned his manhood a few years ago when he was afraid to come to Mexico. Mea maxima culpa.
* In Querétaro, "separation of church and state" means the archdiocese spokespriest takes off his collar when chumming around with the military.
* Carlos Slim tops Forbes's "World's Richest Assholes" list for the fourth year in a row. (Pretty good year for Mexico's robber baron class overall, actually.) This is also the first year that Sinaloa cartel chief Chapo Guzmán failed to make the list. Let's rerun Patrick Corcoran's piece explaining why including Chapo was bullshit in the first place.
* Of course, it's easy to amass a $73 billion fortune if you have a monopoly that allows you to grossly overcharge for shitty phone service. And if, as a result, 83% of your countrymen still don't have internet access at home, well, fuck 'em. They should just work harder.
* In case you were worried that the Spanish took all of Mexico's gold, Peña Nieto's official presidential portrait is here to assure you otherwise. Now, we're not professional photographers, but we're guessing this involved on camera, a couple of lights, maybe an assistant or two. No charge for the props or location. A bit of Photoshop to smooth out some imperfections. Of course, this being Mexico, the cost to produce the photo was 376,420 pesos, or about 30,000 dollars.
* Speaking of corruption, here's a good Wall St Journal profile of Elba Esther Gordillo from a decade ago. And as the invaluable Tim Johnson points out, there's plenty of hogs wallowing in the trough.
* A good essay here about how Mexican schools teach kids to read, but not reading. This is something we've been harping on for five years now, but we're happy to have another chance to call bullshit on the idea that everyone's favorite book here is One Hundred Years of Solitude. (And, as always, we go to Madame Mayo for the smart take on this.)
* Mexico's ex-ambassador to the US forms a big, important company that's pretty vague about what it actually does, which is what happens when you try not to use the words "influence peddling" in your press release.
* We've probably posted this before, but Daniella Rossell's 1999 photos of Mexico's rich bitches are amazing.
* MazReal's photos of Mazatlan are pretty phat, too.
* As long as we're going back in time, here's a great old piece explaining the rise of the White Americans for a Whiter America movement.
* Just based on the posters, "Machete Kills" looks like the greatest achievement in cinematic history.
* Among the items for sale in the recent auction of JFK memorabilia were some trinkets from a state visit to Mexico in 1962.
* The Great Chili Pepper War of 2013.
* Awwww! A healthy baby girl was born last month in Jalisco. The nine-year-old mother is doing fine, thanks for asking!
* Your Enigmatic Protest Photo of the Day. (Also: this and this.)
* Here's some kids from San Juan del Río emulating Jackass:
* Lastly, in honor of the Día Internacional de la Mujer, here's Mexico's own Belinda, answering the musical question, "What if Frida Kahlo looked like a stripper"?