Two-and-a-half months ago we wrote a post called "'Wake Up, Sheeple!' A Video Collection of Internet Crazy," documenting just one tiny corner of the "Sandy Hoaxers" parallel universe: the sliver of commentary directed at our Audio/Visual Division's "Raising Adam Lanza." The preponderance of batshit insane people out there is one of our ongoing interests, and so when when our hometown marathon got blown up last month, and the first question asked at the governor's press conference was, "was this a false flag fake attack designed to take away our civil liberties," we thought we'd revisit our little corner of The Crazy to see how many of our pet Sandy Hoaxers were also Tamerlan Truthers.
The results? One hundred percent. Join us after the fold, won't you?
In "PBS to Spread the Sandy Hoax," YouTube user "108morris108," rambled on about mind control, Zionism, and the incontrovertible fact that your correspondents, who has been in on the hoax from the beginning, would be using "experts and connoisseurs" to further subjugate the populace so that "disarming returning vets" can procede according to plan.
In Boston, "the ties between Chechnya, NATO, the UN, Israel and the United States are so deep," he -- we were going to say "explains," but that's not quite the right word -- at the the beginning of his oxymoronically-titled, "Boston Becoming a Very Very Real Hoax." One of the pieces of evidence is that Boston cops are beefy dudes with crewcuts - just like Newtown cops! Don't ya get it, people?
He also wants you know how great rice cookers are in this video posted six days before the blast. Coincidence? Perhaps.
"Hollywoodpastels" churned out a 15 minute-rant called "Raising Adam Lanza Q&A Bull**," because she was angry that we suggested that people like Hollywoodpastels might be a little [twirly-finger-next-to-temple gesture]. So what does she think (again, maybe not the right word) about Boston? "Every time I see the pictures, I have to laugh," she says in one of her shorter uploads. "Because it's funny." Goodness, we all felt the same way here.
"jon clem's" "raising adam lanza-frontline documentry[sic]" sets us all straight on the crazy notion that the Lanza family may have had guns.
By midnight the day of the Boston bombing he already had three videos up, including "boston marathon bombing false flag or real attack ??"
Strangely, for a guy who's convinced it's all a huge conspiracy, man!!, he's pretty cavalier about posting videos of his kids online, and announcing that he lives in Salt Lake City. Here's one of the many videos of himself playing heavy metal guitar. Chemtrails apparently attack one's sense of rhythm first - and we have video proof!!!
"HatrickPenry" sped his way through a preemptive takedown of the Lanza hour. We were able to make out "Yahoo! is the CIA," but little else.
In "Boston Bombing FaceBook page created two days before bombing," he slows it down just a bit. "I don't even know what to think, I don't know what to think," he says while suggesting we think it's weird that one could start a Facebook page a few days before the race and then change the title of it when something enormously newsworthy happens. His latest video is entitled "Dental fillings, Cancer and Alex Jones," presumably listed by order of preference.
And of course it's not just YouTube. The most epic takedown of the Frontline was this pixel-by-pixel explanation of how we Photoshopped Adam Lanza's eyes to look all buggy and stuff. Wouldn't you know it, the same people quickly published this pixel-by-pixel explanation of how Li'l Tsarnaev bro's backpack was Photoshopped out of existence.
Without a doubt our favorite Sandy Hoaxer was "danp5648," whose "Sandy Hook Elementary front door demons or shadows or demons Part 3" correctly spots one of the many "MIB bald-headed demons" in our footage. "I've filmed this bald demon a few times now," he says in the comments. This, we totally believe.
Could someone this off-plumb have an opinion about the marathon bombing? Do you even have to ask? "Stay Calm Inside Job Boston Bombing," uploaded on the day of the bombing, is just a looping of a few random seconds of the police press conference that contain the worlds "keep calm." Also, the man on the left could be Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick... or an MIB bald-headed demon.
One of the angrier critics of the Lanza show was "Kate Slade," who, in"Sandy Hook - Invisible Man Peter Lanza," took us to task because we "didn't do squat on Peter" because he's rich. "You don't think he has some strings being pulled here? BS." Also, we were "refusing" to show you any non-awkward pictures of Adam.
Slade is, unsurprisingly, all over this Boston shit! (When not devoting her time to posting cruel, mocking videos about the parents who lost children at Sandy Hook, of course.) Her finest moment came when she managed to tie her twin obsessions together. When the remaining Tsarnaev bro was on the run, there was basically a dragnet throughout New England. Since Connecticut is part of New England, and borders Massachusetts (wake up, people!), the Connecticut State Police were on alert. And who is the spokesman for the Connecticut State Police? Lt. Paul Vance - the same Lt. Paul Vance who was spokesperson for the Connecticut State Police during the Sandy Hook investigation!!!
Dontcha see, people?? No? We do. No, really, Kate Slade's video is what finally opened our ovine eyes. The Sandy Hoaxers... the Tamerlan Truthers... they're the same fucking people, man! It's all just One! Big! Crazy! Conspiracy! Plain as the nose on your face! "Crisis actors"? How about "conspiracy actors"? You think we're crazy? LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE!
Explosion in Waco? There's danp4648!
Genetically Modified Food? There's Kate Slade!
Christopher Dorner seige? Hi, hollywoodpastels!
Bird flu/rabies? jon clem, come on down!
The Fukushima cover-up? Hatrick Penry FTW!
The next time something happens and a crowd gathers online screaming "False Flag Operation!!," look a little closer. We think you'll see some familiar faces in the crowd. The Conspiracy Actors. The Octopus has many tentacles, man.
Wake up, Sheeple!!1!