Sunday, June 09, 2013

Waiting For The Man

Burro Hall is based in one of Mexico's fastest-growing, most modern and sophisticated cities - a place that fancies itself the nation's aerospace center.  So of course it turns out our next door neighbor is a witch doctor. Okay, technically, he's a curandero, but that's just a fancy name for witch doctor, so we'll stick with it.  We discovered this indirectly - not through the screams of sacrificed goats or anything like that, but rather the inane natterings of his patients, who line up outside our living room/office window for several hours. Every. Fucking. Day.

Unlike real doctors, with their fancy secretaries and med school educations, "El Doctor," as the ladies (and more than a few men) call him, doesn't take appointments. And he sees just eight people a day, promptly at 5pm.  So around 2pm, they start lining up in the andador between our houses. Burro Hall is located on the shady side.  (This used to be kind of a selling point, ironically.) And when we say they gather outside our window, we mean actually in our window, which is really a French-style door that starts at floor level and which, on the outside of the house, has a little ledge that's perfect for sitting down as you wait three goddamn fucking hours to see the fucking witch doctor.



We've discussed Mexicans' lack of familiarity with the concept of "noise" elsewhere on this blog, so there's no real need to explain to you what this sounds like in our living room/office, except to note that, inasmuch as a distinction between "inside voice" and "outside voice" exists here, everyone in line is, to be fair about it, outside.

Of course, it wouldn't occur to us to try to shoo them away.  We have enough problems in life without making enemies with a witch doctor - particularly one who lives 20 feet away.  Instead, we go up to our roof from time to time and photograph the patients.  What follows is a bird's-eye view of the kind of people who wait hours in oppressive Mexican heat for a consultation with a witch doctor in 2013.







"w8ing 4 witch dr"...


















Really.  Make yourself at home.





12 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you were to develop a water leak an upstairs toilet which flowed into the walkway it might help with crowd control.

Burro Hall said...

You'd think so, but watering the geraniums has a similar result and little effect. Also, when not being used as a pop-up waiting room, the andador is the perro's favorite place to pee. Either no one notices or no one cares.

Anonymous said...

You're missing a huge opportunity. With the school across the street, and these nice folks killing time, you would have a brisk business making and selling churros every afternoon. ¡ BURRO CHURROS !

Burro Hall said...

As you noted, there's an elementary school here - so the street is already crowded with representatives from the diabetes-enhancement industry.

That said, I'm copyrighting the name Burro Churros. Thanks!

DonAlbertoDoyle said...

I dunno, you could exact a measure of revenge by blasting Ooh-Eee-Ooh-Ahh-Ahh, Ting Tang Walla-walla Bing Bang constantly.

C.M. Mayo said...

There is no better investment for Mexican urban living than double or yea, even quadruple paned windows. That said, give up now, living here inevitably turns into a never ending fantasy of buying an utterly waterless "ranch" in far west Texas (or similar). PS Google "most horrible sound in the world NYT" download, play endless loop. Or else move. Or else evolve. Or else get the waterless ranch. Or else whatever. Ayyyyy. I truly do sympathize.

Mexfiles said...

I donno... A walk-in psychiatric clinic next door sounds rather innocuous. I've got a half-dozen banda studios, a bootlegger, and a whorehouse for neighbors. It keeps things safe at night anyway.

Burro Hall said...

Yes, but I'm a lot whinier than you, Rich.

Anonymous said...

"I dunno, you could exact a measure of revenge by blasting Ooh-Eee-Ooh-Ahh-Ahh, Ting Tang Walla-walla Bing Bang constantly."

This is the most annoying sound track ever recorded and will be replayed subconciously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APmHR2bmQgw

Tio Foncho said...

They say it is quiet in Lawrence, Kansas.

Burro Hall said...

That's because all the college kids are hiding under their beds, shitting themselves over poblano sicarios.

Anonymous said...

I did the google. This really is the worst sound in the world, really truly, everyone waiting for the juju guy will vamoose. At the same time it is really hilarious.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/blogs/thelede/posts/vomit.mp3