Sunday, October 26, 2014

Un Pozole del Burro Hall

* While we were out of the country (with an air-tight alibi, and the credit card receipts to prove it), one of our neighbors in this quiet little peaceful paradise, Hector Beltran Leyva, of the famous Beltran Leyva Beltran Leyvas, was arrested on charges of being Hector Beltran Leyva.  He had been living openly here in our completely non-corrupt little state, much like Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad. 

Beltran Leyva, who went by the gangster nickname "El H" - which sounds goofy until you realize H's are silent in Spanish, which makes it the most gangsta nickname ever - was famous for dick moves like sending goons to the funeral of a soldier killed in an operation that nailed his brother, and having them basically execute the entire fucking family right there in the funeral home.  So it's not surprising to learn that one of the last things he did as a free man was invite a local security guard from his tony neighborhood watch association over to his house in Juriquilla for a little chat.  It seems that a day earlier, someone had rather unwisely broken into the manse and made of with about 3 million pesos, which is the kind of cash most legitimate businessmen keep lying around their houses here. Predictably, the chat ended with the security guard's badly-beaten, bullet-riddled body turning up on the side of the highway to San Luis Potosí.

What wasn't predictable was that the cops would actually investigate and solve the crime, and raid the house in Juriquilla.  A few hours later, HBL was arrested over lunch in San Miguel de Allende.

What is either absolutely mind-blowing or completely predictable, depending on how long you've been in Mexico, is that the raid on the house and HBL's arrest later that day, were unrelated to each other.  Querétaro's attorney general, Arsenio Durán Becerra, says it was a "coincidence," and that they didn't know the house they raided was Beltran Leyva's. During his interrogation, HBL surprised the officers by asking if his arrest had anything to do with guard's murder. Presumably the cops just stared blankly at each other.

Incidentally, the NY Times reports that HBL was nabbed while "dining in a fine restaurant." The Times's living allowance for foreign correspondents must be pretty shitty, since here's the restaurant:

* Here's a bit of travelogue from the Pathé Archives.  It will tell you almost nothing about Mexico in 1963, but just about everything you'd ever want to know about Britain in the mid-20th Century. 

(Also, the outtakes are kind of fascinating.  Who knew that literally every shot in a newsreel was faked?)

* So another thing that happened while we were in El Norte is that Querétaro had a gay wedding.  To understand how amazing this is, recall that just three short years ago, when a state committee was debating the issue, the public comments were 12 in favor, 51,627 against. (That's not a typo.) Our award for Best Official Reaction to the crisis goes to the head of the State Supreme Court, Carlos Septién Olivares, who fears that gay marriages - of which, we remind you, there has been exactly one in the history of the state - could lead to a court system being overburdened by gay divorces. No, really.

* We reported a while ago on Arkansas State University, Jonesboro's plan to extend the "Harvard of the Ozarks's" reach south of the border with a campus in Querétaro - ASU-Q (pronounced A-SUCK). Not surprisingly, because the project is taking in place in the Aerospace Capital of Mexico, there are problems - specifically a lack of water and electricity.

The opening of the Arkansas State University campus in Queretaro, Mexico has been delayed due to insufficient infrastructure including water and electricity. The original opening date was projected to be in 2015, but the new opening date has been pushed back to 2016.

Lynita Cooksey, provost and vice chancellor for academic affairs and research, said the site for the construction of the new campus is located in an undeveloped part of the city that is projected for major growth.

Actually, as we pointed out eight months ago, the new campus is located out in the middle of nowhere, about 50km from anything that could even remotely be considered "part of the city." We'll keep you posted on the lack of progress over the next couple of years.

* Sorry, ladies, but Burro Hall executive photo editor Franci...Oh! is taken!  He announced his engagement with a suitably bizarre photo of the happy couple frolicking in the waves from here to eternity.

* If you ever wondered what the cover of Abbey Road would have looked like if the Beatles were from Querétaro, wonder no longer...

* Since Miley Cyrus was practically pursued by Interpol after being spanked onstage with a Mexican flag (okay, it was in Mexico.  On Independence Day.  Still.), we assume Justin Beiber will be similarly ostracized for his Mexican flag boxers.

* With the whole country riveted on the 43 missing students from Iguala, we thought it would be worth mentioning that there are about 200 people missing here in Mexico's safest, most secure state.

*And finally, here's your new NB Mexico 2014, Miss Aguascalientes, whose actual given name appears to be Wendolly.


Crazy Rita said...

Gosh, it's almost like Sabado Gigante has returned.

Charles Pergiel said...

I am glad to see you are back.

Anonymous said...

My question is If Gay couples start having domestic violence will the Government start building Refuge Homes for battered sissy boys?
As for Gay divorce I can just hear someone telling the judge... he/she/it , bitch slapped me your honor. What a complex world we live in.

Anonymous said...

My question is If Gay couples start having domestic violence will the Government start building Refuge Homes for battered sissy boys?
As for Gay divorce I can just hear someone telling the judge... he/she/it , bitch slapped me your honor. What a complex world we live in.